Archive for the ‘Control Issues…My Story’ Category

Today’s post is a piece of the story revealing one woman’s journey with her control issues…to read the introduction click here:  Control Issues.  And come back to this page each day this week to hear more from our friend as she honestly shares God’s ongoing work in her life.

It’s finally Friday, and I’m ready to write words of encouragement!

Hebrews 12:1-3 are what I consider my “life verses.”  I repeat these words to myself a lot in order to remain focused. These verses read: “Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, Who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—He could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now He’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility He plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” (The Message)

Strip down – no extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins… what does this mean for you? For me it is stripping down out of my control freak mode and passing the reins to God in so many aspects of my life – spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically. He’s not done with me yet; He’s still workin’ on me. This race isn’t over, so let’s focus on the finish line!

Dear God, thank you so much for loving us. Thank you so much for your Son and your sacrifice. Thank you for making me special and for encouraging me to walk in Jesus’ footsteps. Please continue to show me Your will for my life and help me to follow Your lead. Not my will, but Yours. AMEN!

Read Full Post »

Today’s post is a piece of the story revealing one woman’s journey with her control issues…to read the introduction click here:  Control Issues.  And come back to this page each day this week to hear more from our friend as she honestly shares God’s ongoing work in her life.

This is the part of my control issues that was the scariest for me. I had to relinquish that area of my life to God and allow Him to heal me. As a woman, I have been endowed with a feminine figure. I learned early how to use it to my advantage to get what I wanted. My husband is not my first sexual partner. God willing, my husband will be my last sexual partner – I meant it when I said “until death do us part.”

Let me back up a little. I grew up in a home where my parents are very affectionate towards one another and towards my sister and I. My dad showers my mom with love both emotionally and physically. Almost 37 years of marriage, and I’m proud to say that they still have that same connection that they have always had. My sister was the wise one who decided to wait for God to provide the right man at the right time for pure courtship and she waited for marriage. I, on the other hand, saw that my dad would bend over backwards for my mom. I knew that I could use my figure and my flirtations to control boys/men to get the same sense of love and acceptance.

I was fortunate to come out of several bad relationships and still have the hope that God would bring the right man into my life – and He did. Quite literally a week after coming home from vacation and ending a relationship that I had been in for a year and a half, I told God that I wasn’t doing any good finding my own future husband, and He was in control. A week later, I went out with some friends – including a guy that I had been very good friends with for almost 2 years. 3 weeks later we were engaged, and we were married 4 months after that. Unfortunately, neither of us came into our marriage whole and pure. God has helped us work that out, but it hasn’t always been easy.

Ladies, please feel free to share these words with your daughters. Sex before marriage is not just morally wrong, but it’s cheating on your marriage and your future mate. When I say sex – I don’t just mean sexual intercourse… I mean sexual thoughts and any sex act. I know that purity is tough. Sex is everywhere. Trust me when I say the wait is worth it. Every time you do something with a guy, you sell a piece of your future marriage to someone who doesn’t deserve it. You will wind up feeling empty inside, guilty for having cheated yourself out of something that could have been amazing. Also, going to the Family and Human Services building to be tested for AIDS and other STD’s is not only embarrassing, it’s mortifying. It would be much easier to conduct yourself as a proper young lady and to remember that you are a giant advertisement for God and for the church. Psalm 119:9-11 says “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to Your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Give God control of your body and your thoughts.






Read Full Post »

Today’s post is a piece of the story revealing one woman’s journey with her control issues…to read the introduction click here:  Control Issues.  And come back to this page each day this week to hear more from our friend as she honestly shares God’s ongoing work in her life.

Have you ever met anyone who could lie to you straight to your face and use your emotions to control you like a puppet and you wouldn’t even realize it was happening? I’m ashamed to admit that I used to be able to do this to anyone I chose just because I could. I could use my emotions to flip you around upside down if it was what I wanted. I could fake any emotion you could imagine at the drop of a hat. I could flirt my way into or out of almost any situation. I’m sure there were times that I must have seemed like I had a split personality as I flip-flopped between emotions to get what I wanted. As I have grown closer in my relationship with Christ, I have been convicted to show His love – agape love. Agape refers to the unearned love God had for humanity — a love so great that God was willing to send his only son to suffer and die on our behalf.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a shares the qualities of this love:  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”

God and His love will NEVER fail us. He reaches to where we are and showers us with His love. He sent His son to live on earth, become the sacrifice on the cross, and bear the burden of MY sins. He did all that for a low-down, dirty sinner like me – a control freak and someone who manipulated and controlled others with emotions.

Ladies, tomorrow I will talk about the scariest part of my control issues – the use of sexuality to control others.



Read Full Post »

Today’s post is a piece of the story revealing one woman’s journey with her control issues…to read the introduction click here:  Control Issues.  And come back to this page each day this week to hear more from our friend as she honestly shares God’s ongoing work in her life.

Yep… I wear the pants – in every relationship.

I have strong opinions, and I expect you to fall in line with them.  God’s been kind of beating me over the head with this one lately, and I’m grateful. My husband and I have had some times in the last year where God has asked me to take the back seat and listen to my husband as he has made a decision for us.

Ephesians 5:22-24 reads,  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Well, crap. You know? Who hears the word SUBMIT, and jumps for joy? NOT ME!  I immediately balk and think – “the heck I will! I’m the boss, here!”

Webster’s online dictionary says the following about the word submit: 1 a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another, b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something; 2: to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another.

God made it so that Christ is the head of the church, and the husband is the head of the home. As a wife, it is my job to support my husband and to follow his lead in our home. Being the control freak that I am, it’s not always easy for me to take off the “pants”.

A little more than a year ago, God let us know that it was time to leave the church that we were members of. My husband grew up in that church, as did his mother. We had been involved in that church for 5 of our almost 6 years of marriage. We were both in positions of leadership in the church, and very involved in several ministries. God had been giving me nudges here and there, and we had some pretty serious conversations. Most of these conversations involved me saying to God “No. This is our church home. We are happily miserable here. I’m not leaving our family and friends. No!” Finally, I submitted to God’s leading and told Him that if it was time for us to move on to a new church home, that I was not only ok with it but happy to follow His will. A week later, my husband said “I think it’s time for us to change churches.” I had been fighting God to remain in control, and fighting my husband’s authority at the same time. Shame on me! God really does work all things together for good (Romans 8:28)! We started down what we were afraid would be a long road of “church hunting”. I wasn’t looking forward to this little adventure. (It’s tiring to go to a bunch of churches, weigh the pros and cons, choose what you like best, go for a few weeks, fight God because you like a church but it’s not where He wants you and then start all over. UGH – there goes that control problem again.) Honestly, I did NOT want to end up at Community Bible Church. Why? That’s where my family goes. It’s their church and I wanted a place to be MY church. We decided to go to CBC just to check it out. That first service, God kicked me in the seat of my pants and I heard a little “Welcome Home” in the back of my mind. My husband enjoyed CBC and we spent some time in prayer. We attended the Starting Point classes, and we are members now. As a side note, it has made my family relations even better! Submission = BLESSINGS!

I am thankful every day that God reminded me to allow Him to guide our journey. Each day I have to go through the process of giving my day and my life and my thoughts (this list could go on and on) to God and let Him take the wheel.

Jesus take the wheel.
Take it from my hands,
Cause I can’t do this on my own.
I’m letting go,
So give me one more chance.
Save me from this road I’m on,
Jesus take the wheel.

(Jesus Take the Wheel – Carrie Underwood)

Join me tomorrow as I talk about emotional control.

Read Full Post »

Today’s post is part of the story of one woman’s journey with her control issues…to read the introduction click here:  Control Issues.  And come back the rest of the week to hear more from our friend as she honestly shares God’s ongoing work in her life.

It sounds kind of strange to say that I controlled using rebellion… but I did.

No one would guess by looking at my parents and my younger sister that there was a polar opposite in the family – ME. Black Sheep – I chose to be one. I grew up in a Christian home where going to church was as common as getting dressed in the morning. My parents and sister all have a strong relationship with Christ. At church, I seemed to also have a strong relationship with God.  Outside of church – that was a different story.

I was 4 years old when my mom became a Christian and my dad rededicated his life to Christ. Things changed dramatically in our home, and our family joined a Southern Baptist Church where we lived in Missouri. During the summer, our church had revival services. For those of you not familiar with Southern Baptist Hellfire and Brimstone Revival services, just think Yelling Preacher telling you that you are going to Hell if you don’t come forward and invite Jesus into your heart. I listened, and when the invitation came, I RAN to the front of the church to escape this scary place called Hell that the preacher kept yelling about. I had no idea whatsoever what it meant. All I knew is that because I went forward and said I love God that I was a “Christian.” For the next 13 years, I claimed my parent’s faith as my own. But I was actually 17 when I gave my life to God for real.

The years between 4 and 17 were full of rebellion. Rebellion in the form of: swearing, drugs, drinking, sexual activity, any way I could think of to act out and seem cool to the masses – I was all about it. I knew it was wrong, so what was I really in control of? I thought I was in control of my “destiny” – and I was. I wasn’t saved, and I was living in sin. I was destined to go to that place the scary preacher was yelling about in that revival service.

Fortunately, God reached down into the muck I was surrounding myself with, and grasped me right around the heart. I heard a regular guy at a youth camp talking about how we put up walls to keep other people out and a roof to keep God out so we can live our life how we see fit. He talked about demolishing the house of sin and allowing God to build us a mansion in Glory. It was at that point that I released the hold on my “destiny” and let God have control of it.

Unfortunately, I keep taking it back. My control issues are something that is a daily battle (sometimes the battle is more minute to minute). It’s amazing that He has the capacity to love each and every one of us – right where we are. So, who am I? I am a sinner saved by God’s AMAZING grace. I am a daughter of the King! I am a student of the Master. I am a dirty, sinful, imperfect, rebellious control freak that is learning a little bit every day to release my hold and follow God’s will for my life. There’s a song by The Cathedrals (circa 1980) that really fits this thought. Please take the time to follow this link and listen – it will only take 3 minutes of your time…   http://youtu.be/bZpGAkA814s

Tomorrow, I will share about control in my relationships.

Read Full Post »